Why Do You Run?

Why do you run?  This is a question that gets asked far more often than most civilians would think.  The idea that someone would willingly put themselves through what non-runners consider to be miles of pure agony is foreign, unusual, and even frightening to some.  So, today I am here to shed some light on the beautiful reasons why people run.  Or at least some of the reasons, since not everyone runs for the same reason.

I run because...
Walking is just too darn slow.  Even going on hikes can be frustrating for a runner because though the scenery is beautiful and the company is pleasant, you just know you could've been at the peak hours ago if you had run it.  (Granted, you would also probably be crippled by the several miles of uphill running, but no one needs to know that.)
It gives you an excuse to buy tons of exercise clothes.  As someone who worked one summer at Adidas and one at Nike, I can verify that 100% of an athlete's income will go directly back into the company they work for if it is sports retail.  Let's face it.  Sports apparel is comfortable, flattering and convenient.  But if you are completely sedentary, people will question what you need 10 pairs of running tights for.  It gives you a killer bod.  You could probably use the abdominals of most athletes to grate cheese.  Not that you would.  Because that's completely disgusting and unsanitary.  But hey, it's nice to have that option.
You get huge biceps.
Just kidding.  Sorry boys, unless you are Elijah Armstrong, you will never develop massive arms by running.
You meet cool people.  Traveling everywhere and interacting with people who share interests and insanities with you tends to help you bond with others and form friendships.  It's pretty neat.
If you run for Park City high school, your teammates will occasionally yell, "Chacca run, Lyssa!" at you.  This one probably doesn't apply so much to other schools, but it makes running totally worth it.  Listen to Chaccaron Maccaron sometime before a race and you'll understand.  Or you won't.  But my team likes it.
You have time to ponder things.  Like how much homework you have to do.  Or which season of Bones you're watching.  Or things that actually matter.  It's like yoga but with more sweat and less flexibility.