Rome

Upon reflecting on the title of this post, I realize that it is a little misleading.  I did not go to Rome at any point.  If we're being honest, I've never left the country.  I am a very poor college student and I would probably have to sell an organ to go on a summer trip to Rome.  So, you all deserve an explanation.  At the beginning of my first indoor collegiate season, the track team got a text from our head coach requesting that we turn in our "One Word" to him so he could make sure it was included on the team poster for the year.  I had no idea what "one word" meant, so one of the older girls explained it to me.  Essentially, it is an affirmation, a representation of the ideal that will carry you through the negative temperatures and long weeks of winter training to the end of that 5k in May, through all of the moments when you would much rather spend your winter break drinking cocoa and holding paws with your cat by the fire than slogging through miles in the snow and the last two miles of a 10k.  Throughout the indoor and outdoor seasons at post-meet team meetings, a few members would share their word and the meaning behind it each week.  For the last two years, my words were "fearless" and "rise". 
So, what does this have to do with summer training, Rome, or anything really?  This summer, when I came home from Bozeman and nationals and my first time reaching the All-American status that was my biggest goal going into college, I wasn't at all sure where to go next.  I knew for sure that I wanted to hit higher mileage again because I thrive on that stuff, but aside from that, I was a little lost.  What are you supposed to do differently as an All-American?  Do you have to run every training run at a certain pace now?  Is there a bylaw that states you have to become a paleo vegan gluten-free athlete after you run a certain time in the 10k?  And most importantly, how would I continue improving and moving forward from this moment?  I figured initially I would just train like I did last summer-lots of effort-based easy runs, doubles, and upped miles.  The problem was, I didn't remember exactly how much effort went into an easy run and I wasn't sure where to find the balance between too easy and hammering every run, so I erred on the side of hammering every run for the first few weeks until my new coaching staff sent out some emails reminding our team that this summer was about building a strong, stable base and rediscovering a joy for running, not about beating our bodies into submission.  Thus I discovered my one word for this year:  Rome.  Because I am a cliché millennial troll, the meaning behind the one word is pretty obvious.  Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was any athletic success I have ever experienced.  It's okay to take it one day or one run at a time and calm down a little.  There's no pressure to "win" every single easy run you go on, whether it is against yourself or the other locals who happen to use Strava (@ the insanely fit older ladies in PC, good grief those guys are titans).  You can take your running career seriously and chase higher mileage and greater fitness, and still enjoy the process and not be a thief of joy who restricts every aspect of their life and crushes every run whether they like it or not.

I tried to run a road 10k and my shoes came untied in the first 800m then my old PC coaches dropped me like a bad habit

With that deeper nonsense out of the way, here's a little bit of what I've been doing with my summer.  As I have for the last three summers, I've been cleaning windows in Park City this year to save money for the school year.  This Friday is actually my last day and I'm hecka excited to have two weeks before camp to hang out and maybe even get around to doing some of my rehab.  I've been slacking severely and justifying by saying that climbing up and down ladders at work is kind of like doing step-ups.  It's not the same thing at all, and someone needs to stage an intervention to make me do weights and core and rehab.  When I haven't been working, I've been running.  I upped my mileage again this year, and am currently happily residing at 80 miles a week.  I say "happily", but it's only fair to share the disclosure that for the first three weeks I was at upped mileage, I was a squinty, cranky basement hag who woke up only long enough to eat, run, and work.  It was a little unpleasant to behold, but I adapted and now I'm back to the simply hangry individual that I was before.  I spent a few weekends running with the SUU kiddos down in Cedar, and can now safely say that while there is something odd and beautiful about running down abandoned roads at one in the morning, I definitely prefer to do my long runs before eleven pm.  And that I really should stick with running because I am garbage at beach volleyball, despite giving it 110%.

My sister and I ran a half and neither one of us wore pants.  It was the best.

My new coaches don't have the team running any workouts until we all get together for camp on the 21st, which has been pretty nice, and they also encouraged us not to race too much, so I've only run a few road races and I have done anything all-out since nationals.  This definitely seems to be a solid strategy, because rather than coming into August already sick to death of tempo runs and mile repeats, I am positively chomping at the bit for some good solid workouts.  I am so overeager to race again, which is a nice change from being petrified to race as I was going into the indoor season. 
ALSO I am over-the-top excited about Utah State.  Guys.  I got added to the GroupMe for the women's distance team at the beginning of the summer which was, of course, a tremendous honor, and I already love my team way too much.  I had the opportunity this last weekend to have a few of my teammates up to the homestead and go for a run in Park City (on one of the trails BTC runs, which I think/hope basically maybe makes me the next Colleen Quigley?  Except I never modeled and I can't run the steeplechase even a little and I'm a little bit in love with her?), and it was, in a word, litty.  I'm way too stoked about the people I will be working with, the meets we will be going to, the gear, the training room, the cute little cows logos we have, so many dang things.  I'm looking forward to this cross country season so much it's borderline obscene.  Great things to come, but in the meantime, I'll try to be patient, continue growing my love for the sport, and enjoy the process.  Also, I'm on the prowl for good running/sports psych/related books, so if you have any recommendations, please slide them into my DMs.

Taking the Next Step

I know I promised that once I had completed my final season with MSU and was officially a Utah State athlete, I would share the complete story behind my transfer back to the Mothership.  This was not a decision that was made easily or taken lightly.  I have many friends at Montana State that I value a great deal, and am going to miss more than I can say.  It was my intention when I signed my NLI to complete my full five years of eligibility here, but sometimes things come up that you can never predict and you have to adapt accordingly.  Rather than address the reasons why I chose to transfer and dwell on the negativity, I would just like to clear up some misconceptions and rumors that are most definitely NOT why I chose to transfer.  If you feel as though this is not enough and would like to know all the nitty gritty details that led up to my leaving Bozeman, feel free to reach out and contact me in a person message.
I didn't choose to leave as a result of any disagreement I had with the coaches.  The individuals I worked with were understanding about my need to move on, and supported me through my final season of competition, even after I informed them of my decision to transfer, nor did I choose to leave because I thought I was superior to the individuals I worked and trained with in any way.  I adore the teammates I had at MSU, and consider them all to be admirable and hardworking women that I was privileged to be around.  I didn't make the decision to leave because of the size of the program, or due to any one injury or setback I experienced while there.  The decision I made came after serious consideration and a great deal of time and experiences in Bozeman.
I am eternally grateful to the friends and teammates at MSU who made the experience I had there a more enjoyable one.  Many of you supported me through this decision, even though it wasn't one that you wished for me, and I cannot state enough how helpful that was.  Those of you who stood by me, even after it became clear that I would be leaving this program, made my last semester with you much better than I ever could have hoped for.
Sometimes, even if it's terrifying, you just have to close your eyes and take the next step forward.