Don't Call It a Comeback

There is not a single person on God's green earth who is more obnoxious about their rehab than me, I am utterly convinced.  I love doing rehab, and I am not afraid to make sure that everyone around me knows that, whether they want to or not.  My trainer, Sonia, is an angel sent directly to the Utah State training room from the gods of injury and recovery.  She knows I'm a bit of a head case and exercise makes me into much less of a goblin full of spite, and she is a fountain of rehab knowledge, so she has been making my rehab progression so enjoyable.  Last week, she texted me to inform me that she had some ideas to make my exercises harder, and boy did she come through.  Not gonna lie to you guys, I am getting pretty jacked.  #BodyBySonia  The other day, I caught myself checking out my own legs while doing single-leg squats, and I have asked Sonia and Tav roughly seventy-three times in the last week if my butt looks like it has gotten bigger.  I told Sonia that my comeback goal is to be able to be described using the words "Stoopid thicc".  Additionally, I made up my own comeback/rehab progression theme song.  Like I said, obnoxious.  But also extremely happy and excited to be coming back stronger, which hopefully balances things out.

Huge exciting announcement (drumroll please)...I'm running again!  As of this week, I am back on the underwater treadmill.  Thus far, I have had two sessions lasting twenty and thirty minutes with my boo, and the reunion has gone so well.  It's not always easy to work things out after a breakup-there are a lot of hurt feelings and emotions-but running and I really took some time for self-discovery before talking things through again, and we're both willing to ease back into our relationship slowly and make it more stable and healthy.  Those fifty minutes spent on the underwater treadmill held so much pure love for the simple joy of just running.  To run again has been bliss.  Obviously I haven't been permitted to run any record-shattering times, but the motion of running at all is a delight.  Even more exciting is the news that Sonia is planning on allowing me to run on dry land (or I guess technically dry treadmill) on the twenty-eighth.  Under two short weeks!  It feels like I have been floating since I got to start treadmill running again and discovered that I would be running regularly again before March.  I feel like the female lead in a young adult novel, but instead of a complicated, emotionally unavailable poet with dreamy eyes and a leather jacket making me feel this way, it's running.  ILY so much, bb.

Also, as we already knew, the sports psychologist that I work with is a worker of miracles.  This week, we did an exercise that had me charting three major trials and three major triumphs in my life on a sort of graph and connecting those points to illustrate the point that every major trial is eventually turned around and often lead to a greater triumph.  It was a wonderful reminder that this injury will just help me to appreciate the next good thing to happen with my running all the more, and to value the running that I get to do daily rather than taking it for granted.  I am extremely eager to get back into workouts and really appreciate the wonderful exhaustion that comes with them, but I'm also willing to wait until my body is ready for that.  Shoutout to my L5 vertebrae for teaching me about patience, listening to my body, loving running in its purest form, and valuing every little ache, pain, and sore muscle that come with difficult workouts and progression.  Sorry I was so bitter towards you in the beginning of this little baby journey.  You were right, and I was less right.
 

Dear Mainstream Running Media

Dear Mainstream Running Media,

Eating disorders are not cute.

Going over a week without eating a full meal because it makes you feel in control then being unable to run two miles because you don’t have the energy is not cute.

Developing acid reflux so bad that you have stabbing chest pains from esophageal spasms because you drank black coffee on an empty stomach to give you the artificial energy to carry your hollow body through a sixteen mile long run far too fast for the stores you actually have is not cute.

Hassling your trainer to let you do just one extra thing every day, not because you want to get better but because you want to get smaller, is not cute.  Begging to be allowed to go walk on the treadmill for two hours to burn calories is not cute.

Sneaking out and doing more than you’re told even though you’re exhausted and on the verge of tears because you have an anatomy exam on Monday and you can’t make your brain focus on the words on the page is not cute.

Eating jars of baby food for a meal is not cute.

Breaking your spine because you were so obsessed with pounding your body into submitting itself into the right shape is not cute.

Recovery from an eating disorder is not cute.

Refusing to eat all day then binging at night because your trainer told you you’d never heal and be able to run again if you didn’t fuel your body isn’t cute.

Battling the urge to stick your fingers down your throat each time you actually eat a full, healthy meal because you want to be skinny and in control isn’t cute.

Feeling sick every time you eat enough calories because it's been so long since you actually let your stomach feel that it no longer knows how to cope with the presentation of crucial calories is not cute.

Stop glorifying eating disorders.

STOP attacking the women in this sport with healthy bodies.  Stop writing articles about why they won’t do well at nationals even after they win big meets.  Stop making a point of putting a microscope on them when they are a 3k runner and get beat in an 800m race but STILL run the second fastest time in the nation.  Stop trying to take away from the success of strong women who don’t fit your model of a distance runner’s body.

Stop trying to make us believe that eating disorders are cute.  Stop letting us think that changing our bodies will make us into what we want to be. Stop glorifying a culture of repetitive injury and long spans of time off from the sport due to unhealthy habits. Stop putting a very specific body type on a pedestal. Stop refusing to acknowledge the very real presence of eating disorders in this sport, because the truth is, they are there whether we are comfortable with it or not. We all have teammates or friends who have struggled or are struggling to overcome the demons that a culture of obsession with being smaller and running faster has planted in their psyche.

Please start acknowledging the strong and beautiful women of the sport.  Acknowledge that it's okay, in fact it is wonderful, to have a team full of wildly differing shapes.  Since we are not clones, it would be extremely concerning if we all looked exactly the same.  Just as different athletes need different types of training to be successful, different athletes also need to accept that a different body composition or overall appearance is not only acceptable but necessary to be successful, because if we keep trying to force our bodies to fit a mold, we will keep breaking them and feeling like we are not enough.  Until the mainstream running media is willing to make these changes, there will be a sea of voices in the running community here to push back and tell men and women in the sport that they don't have to fit a certain size to have a running career worth following.
If you struggle with an eating disorder, or even just knowing exactly how much of what things you should be eating to maintain a healthy body, there are many resources that you can reach out to.  Many teams and schools have a nutritionist available that you can meet with to discuss healthy dietary habits (USU has a lovely nutritionist named Natalie who has been a wonderful resource for myself and my teammates), and if your school doesn't have that option or your aren't in school, there are also other options.  Basic nutrition classes are available at most schools, as are nutrition students who can help you understand the basics.  There are also dieticians and nutritionists who work at most hospitals and would be more than happy to meet with you and help you optimize your diet for wherever you're at.
As always, I hope you are all happy, healthy, and loving your relationship with running. 

Human Subjects Wanted: Applicants Inquire Below

Being a runner who can't run is one of the strangest phenomenon I've ever experienced, especially on a college campus.  While I still sport the backpack, sweaters, and running tights to class that identify me as a runner, I am uncertain of how I should answer when people ask me about my running.  As a chronic oversharer, I don't know how to stop at, "Yes, I'm on the team" because then my brain goes "Well, what if they ask about your racing schedule?  What if they think you're lying about being on the team?" and all sorts of other weird directions.  I feel obligated to tell people I'm redshirting, then I feel obligated to tell them why and just end up confusing them to the point that they regret asking about the backpack at all.  So, after doing that a few more times than I'm proud of, I talked to my main man Clint about the fact that I'm not running and what exactly I should do about it.  After that chat, I came away with a list of values that I take from running and an assignment to fulfill those values in other ways, which brings us to my *goals* of the 2018 spring semester.
Since achievement and self-discipline are values that are a large part of why I enjoy running so much, I decided to put more effort into my academic achievements.  This semester, I am in anatomy, which is widely regarded as one of the more difficult classes at USU to get an A in from the particular professor I am taking it from.  Instead of focusing all my energies on getting my 5k down to a certain time, I am putting effort into staying ahead on schoolwork, doing extra outside reading and research, and really understanding the material I am working on.  Additionally, I am still doing the most I am allowed to do in my rehab (Today I was allowed thirty-five minutes of normal biking in addition to twenty of arm biking and my back and lower body core exercises, and I was so excited about it that I did my own variation of a touchdown dance with limited back motion), and, drumroll please, I got my ethics certification last weekend, so I am now officially eligible to be involved with human research.  Currently accepting volunteers, so if you're looking to be psychologically experimented on, just stop by Logan or shoot me an email.  JUST KIDDING.  I will hopefully be working on psychological research in the USU labs under professors from the health and human development college.

Proof that I am, in fact, allowed to work with human people

To ensure that I actually meet my academic goal of getting a 4.0 this semester, I've put some actual guidelines in place for myself because the good lord knows I will just let myself run rampant otherwise.  As of this year, I am no longer allowing myself to use my phone in class, and I've made it my goal to not miss a single class this semester.  Since I won't be traveling, I figured I might as well make the best of it, because this is most likely the only semester in college that I will not have to miss any classes for my sport.  #SilverLining
Outside of rehab and school, I've taken up knitting lumpy socks similar to those I imagine Dobby the house elf would make and watching Grey's Anatomy.  Y'all.  You need to watch it.  I thought it was a stupid hospital soap opera, then I ran out of shows I felt like watching right before I found out I was injured and my sister recommended Grey's, so I spent the entirety of break watching it.  It is so much more than a hospital drama.  I am obsessed.
So, then, what about running?  What about my bittersweet love, my favorite escape, my drug of choice?  What do I do when I am encapsulated by the overwhelming need to drop it all and run; let go of my fears and pains and trade them for the sharp burst of air in my lungs and steady wonderful ache in my legs, the urge to fling aside my backpack and just start sprinting through the parking lot in my jeans like a madwoman?  What then?
Then...I take a deep breath.  I envision the wordless joy it will be to take my first steps on the track, to experience my own rebirth.  There is pain in looking to the future and knowing you can't have what you want now, but also joy and excitement in knowing that you will have a new love and appreciation for every hurt, every workout you have to fight through, for your second chance.  When I am overcome by my need to run, I think of the incredible happiness that will come from not only being able to run again after my time away, but the sense of accomplishment that will come with not only running again, but running entirely healthy and strong, having allowed my body to come back on its own timeline.
Have you experienced an injury that kept you from doing something you loved?  Feel free to tell me about your experience or coping methods in the comments below!

Patience? Never Heard of Her

Minutes after I heard the results of my MRI, I got my first piece of advice from my coach:  Write down the word "Patience" on as many post-it notes as you can get your hands on, then stick them anywhere you'll see them.  At that point in time, I laughed in the face of him and Sonia, my beloved athletic trainer, and informed them that if I tried that, those post-it notes would more likely get torn up after a few days.  Then burned.  Then the ashes would probably get buried next to the track next to my dreams.  No, I am absolutely NOT dramatic and I do not overreact to anything at all ever.  I told myself that I would be patient, but I also somehow got it into my head that I would be allowed to run immediately after I got back from winter break.  Not only did I not get to run or even get on the underwater treadmill when I arrived back, after trying the elliptical for ten minutes and having pain on that, then trying the bike for ten minutes and having pain on that, I was informed that I would be limited to no activity at all or arm biking.  Having been thriving in my state of denial all break, getting jerked suddenly into the reality of my injury was extremely unpleasant.  Turns out spinal injuries are not a quick fix, and there is no definitive timeline for how quickly they will recover.  Also, if your back hurts while you're biking, you should not just assume that it's muscular pain and continue biking for the entirety of break without telling your trainer or she will NOT be thrilled with your actions.  Forgive me Sonia, for I have sinned.
So, that brings us up to last week when I was laying flat on my back in bed wallowing in self-pity and depression.  Being stuck on a bike was bad enough, I thought, and now here I was unable to do anything at all, betrayed by my own stupid body.  There were a few days where my only time at practice was the twenty minutes spent hooked up to the stim machine, and my first day "back" from my brief break consisted of ten minutes on the arm bike.  Had you told the Lyssa of last summer she would one day in the near future be excited to be on the arm bike, she likely would have choked on her carb drink and possibly verbally assaulted you for saying something so ridiculous.  I told Sonia that I missed even running on the small underwater treadmill and her reaction was similar to if I had confessed to missing gastric ulcers.  I am not a patient individual, but the learning of patience is being forced on me right now whether I like it or not.  I allowed myself to be cross and mean and miserable for a few days after learning that my spine had not and would not heal on the timeline I wanted it to, then after a chat with my therapist, Clint, came to the conclusion that being a vindictive, angry shrew trapped in the body of a twenty year old woman would not make my recovery come any faster and would certainly make the time that I waited for it to come much less enjoyable and full of self-pity.  Since 2018 is the year of skincare, mental health, and good grades, there is no room for self-pity on the agenda.

Here's a super cute pic of my spine, the white spot by the arrow and to the right of the spinal cord is BLOOD IN MY VERTEBRAE (!!!)

Remarkably, when I took several days entirely off, my back started to feel better.  There was no miraculous overnight recovery, as I'd hoped for, but there was a gradual decrease in pain levels over the last week.  After a few days of only stim, I begrudgingly took to the arm bike.  Today, my pain levels were between 0-1 out of ten all day with no increase due to my rehab or arm biking, and I was allowed to move up from twelve to fifteen minutes on the arm bike.  Even last week's Lyssa would have been irritated and anxious about doing fifteen minutes on the arm bike and calling it a day, but the Lyssa of this week is working on gaining a fresh new perspective, being patient with her body and her recovery, and being happy and excited with the small steps taken forward rather than focusing on where a body without injuries could have taken this indoor season.  An injury is frustrating, heartbreaking, and difficult, but it doesn't have to be the end of your world or your running career.  It will take time and patience (patience, patience, patience-I've heard that word so many times over the last month and I definitely have a love/hate relationship with it), but you can always come back.

#NoMakeup #JustWokeUp

Some things that have helped me over the last few weeks:
-Acknowledge that it's okay to not be okay.  When something that is such an integral part of who you are abruptly gets taken away, you are going to have a lot of emotions, and most of them will probably not be pleasant.  Don't stick yourself in a negative cycle for the entirety of the time you are injured, but it is acceptable to take a moment to be frustrated or disappointed or to yell some cathartic curse words while your roommates aren't home.
-Find a hobby to throw yourself into.  Take challenging classes.  Do everything you're allowed to do in terms of cross training, rehab, and recovery.  Figure out a way to fill your time and distract you from dwelling on the thing you'd rather be doing.
-On the instruction of my boi Clint:  Identify the values that you take from running that make you enjoy so much and find a way to integrate them into your life and daily activities.  For example, if the value you take from running is accomplishment, you could instead focus on academic accomplishment and achievement until you're back to running.  Additionally, Clint has instructed me to journal about what I'm doing to integrate those values so I actually have to consciously make an effort to think about it and do it.  10/10 would recommend.
Also, since writing this post, I had a chance to meet with the team doctor and look at my MRIs.  Hooray!  It was actually super interesting for me to see what's happening inside my body instead of just throwing hateful thoughts out in the general direction of my spine.  They identified the stress reaction because of  the blood pooling in my vertebrae.  On the images I included, my bones show up as gray and my spinal cord and liquids show up as white.  The white in the sea of grey on either side of my spinal cord is blood, indicating that there was damage to the bone that my body was trying to repair by sending blood and nutrients to.  Way to go, body!  Additionally, I learned that had I waited to say something, this injury could have been much worse.  Initially, I was somewhat bitter that I spoke up because it meant that I got removed from practice when I was convinced I could've run through this, then Dr. Campbell started throwing around words like "spondylolisthesis" and suddenly I felt much better about speaking up.  I also felt slightly more charitable towards my body for not doing THAT to me.  For those of you keeping score at home who don't have a weird obsession with the body and exercise science (@ Myself), that term describes a condition in which, due to cracks forming in both pedicles, the vertebrae slips out of position and can pinch or damage the spinal cord.  Huge shoutout to my body and my wonderful trainer for shutting me down before we reached the point of vertebral slippage, because as much fun as that is to say, I doubt it's at all fun to experience.

Broke(n)back Lyssa

Since I first stepped onto the running scene, I have been told that there are only two kinds of distance runners:  Those who have had an injury requiring them to take some time off, and those who will.  Of course, I typically reside very happily in the state of Delusion where Denial is king and refusal to acknowledge problems is the main form of currency, so I always told myself that would only happen to other runners because I am obviously invincible.  Sure, I had a few hiccups here and there with mild injuries and inconveniences, but nothing that prevented me from running long-term and nothing that didn't eventually work itself out with some rehab or go away on its own.  So, when I started having lower back pain after the second week back to running, I thought very little of it.  I assumed that, like most of my running-related issues, it was simply the result of muscles that were too tight.  Still, wanting to be cautious coming back into what was supposed to be a breakthrough indoor season, I let my trainer know and we started doing treatment on it.  A week later, when the pain hadn't eased, she had some concerns due to the fact that the pain was isolated on the bone, so we set up an appointment with the team doctor, who also wasn't thrilled about the location.  One x-ray later, we discovered that I had an extra lumbar vertebrae, but still didn't see the cause of the pain, so I went in for an MRI.  Following the MRI, I received the news that I have developed stress reactions in both pedicles of my L5 vertebrae.  Essentially, the bone on both sides of my spinal cord in my lower back has been weakened by running, and any additional stress on it could cause it to fracture.
Needless to say, I was devastated by this news.  It completely disrupted all of the plans I had dreamed up for the upcoming season, and took away for at least the next month the thing that I love doing most.  For the time being, I am restricted to only activities that don't make my back hurt more and don't put it into extension even slightly-basically, I am allowed to stationary bike and do the back exercises prescribed by my trainer.  I'm only a few days in currently, and it's been difficult mentally.  Running is a very large part of who I am, and to have it taken away so suddenly was a shock to my system.  However, I realize that this is not something that I can train through or ignore, no matter how much I would love to.  Knowing that, I am choosing to, rather than being angry or depressed, focus on getting better as fast as I can, taking care of my body, and doing the things I can safely do to stay in shape as well as I can.  I have come back from setbacks in my running career before, and I'm completely confident in my ability, with the help of my coaches and trainers, to do it again.  My coach suggested that I write the word "Patience" everywhere that I can to remind myself of what will be most important in the process often, and although I find that to be extremely annoying, I know that it will be the biggest part of this journey for me.  In the meantime, as I try to figure out this whole patience thing, any tips on dealing with cross training, advice on healthy snacks, good playlists, or amusing snapchats or calls during the time I'm isolated on the stationary bike would be greatly appreciated.    

Get Born Again

My first season as a Utah State aggie is over, and with the end of the season comes the period of time where one typically reflects on how far they've come over the course of the season, the things they've accomplished, the things they've overcome, and the things they aim to achieve next.  For me, the end of this season was a jumble of emotions, chief among them gratitude for the opportunity I've had to start anew with this wonderful team, coaches who care about me, and trainers who are there for me to help with any troubles I approach them with.  This semester has been one of the happiest periods of my life.  I've been surrounded by people who understand me like no one ever has before and granted a clean beginning.  USU provided me with the resources I needed to travel and compete with a wonderful, driven team.  I discovered a new passion in the field of psychology and was able to add it as a second major so I have the option to pursue that career if it is what I choose.  At the same time, I have been working through a great deal of things, and it was something that was incredibly frustrating to me throughout the semester.  I realized that there were residual pains that I still needed to work through from my time at MSU and that not all of my struggles would go away with the transfer, but I still found a great deal of difficulty dealing with the fact that I wasn't suddenly one hundred percent happy with my life.  So, if you all don't mind, I'd love to share another piece of who I am with a group of friends and strangers on the internet.
I've posted before about my experience with mental health difficulties.  During my two years at MSU, my mental health was often something that was blatantly neglected.  I didn't feel comfortable reaching out to discuss it with many of the people in my life, so often I would simply pretend that nothing was going on beyond what I allowed the world to see.  I had a few extremely traumatic experiences during my time in Bozeman that a select few friends and family members know about that I simply refused to acknowledge while there because I felt so isolated that I worried if I allowed myself to dwell on them, I would fall apart completely.  I went to therapy once or twice, but I had very little trust for mental health professionals, and felt extremely uncomfortable talking to them about anything going on in my life.  So, when I came to USU and found this amazing support system, some things that went unresolved for months or years began to surface as I felt more comfortable opening up to friends and trainers, and of course, the anxiety and depression didn't simply disappear because I was in a place that I loved with people I cared about.
As the season progressed, it became more and more clear that I needed to do something about my mental health.  Although I was happier than I've ever been, I also had heightened levels of anxiety and depression that baffled me because I was simultaneously the most happy and the most anxious I have ever been.  Though I had close friendships, I found that I was constantly worried that my mental health troubles would drive them away, a thought that made me more anxious, contributing even more to the thought that my anxiety would become too much of a burden.  It was a pretty fun cycle.  I constantly worried about letting down my teammates, coaches, and others that I cared about.  Pre-nationals was a bit of a setback for me because I didn't finish exactly where I wanted to, so fears about disappointing people and doubts about my own abilities began to set in.  The final straw for me, running, and my mental health was the conference meet.  Although my time and place were not bad, necessarily, they did not meet the expectations I had set for myself and I had a complete breakdown.  I felt that I had let down all of the people who were important to me, and that because I hadn't run well enough in my own opinion, I must not be worth caring about.  During this period, I became completely convinced that I wouldn't ever be enough for anyone and that my mental health would always be a stumbling block that no one could ever overlook.  As far as I was concerned, people dealt with me only out of social obligation and I was a burden to the people I cared about.  The week following conference, I finally decided I needed to take steps to do something about my mental health, and paid a visit to the psychiatrist.  We discussed my thought processes and the things I had been dealing with for the past few months and years, and he determined that I could benefit from the use of SSRIs in conjunction with therapy.  I started on Prozac immediately, and shortly before regionals started coming down with migraines and extreme nausea.  At regionals, I raced terribly and thought I had food poisoning, but discovered a few days later that it was, in fact, a side effect of Prozac.  So, four days out from nationals, with the permission of my psychiatrist, I stopped taking it.  Nationals was still an enjoyable experience being with my team, but it still wasn't the experience I felt it should have been, and that drove me to continue trying to improve my thought process and mental health.  Following nationals, I started on Lexapro which thus far has had the combined positive effect of not making me wildly ill and being the same antidepressant that Kanye is on, which makes me feel weirdly superior because if Kanye can overcome things and start his own successful clothing line, make millions as a music artist, and marry Kim K while on Lexapro, I can certainly keep moving forward and make something of myself.  Starting next week, I will be going to therapy, and I've actually committed to giving it an honest effort this time around.  This is a journey that I know is far from over, but I'm reminding myself daily that I'm an independent bad bitch and I have a great deal of hope for what is coming.
Some days it feels like I've found some magical clarity, as if listening to FML by Kanye for the fifteenth time fixed everything and I am positively unstoppable, and some days it feels like I've taken a huge leap back.  But I'm coming to the realization that no matter what happens, no matter how many times running breaks your heart and puts it back together again or someone challenges your worth or you make mistakes that seem catastrophic in the moment, there is always hope for the future.  There will always be people who love you, not despite your shortcomings and the quirks in your brain chemistry, but because of who you are.  For every good thing that you lose, another good thing will come along.  Life just has a way of balancing itself out like that.  And I am finally coming around to the realization that I am not defined by my disorders or by my sport.  I am so much more than Alyssa Snyder the 10k runner with anxiety, I am Lyssa the human being who happens to enjoy running and the results that come from the miles and trials, who might have some struggles with mental health but is working to become so much more, who has an over-the-top love for cats, and who has some amazing friends and family who stand by me even when I'm absolutely on my bullshit.
For anyone out there who is having struggles of their own, just remember a few things while you're on your way to figuring things out:
-There's nothing wrong with you.  You're not a broken person who needs fixing, you're a perfectly good person who's just been through a thing or two
-There is always someone out there to listen and understand when you feel like you have nobody.  If you really feel like you have absolutely no one, slide into my dms and we can chat about what you're going through.
-There is nothing weak about seeking help.  For the longest time, I didn't want to admit that I struggled with my mental health or allow others in the running community to know the extent to which it was a problem for me because I didn't want to be perceived as weak, broken, or crazy.  You're not crazy, you just need a little hand getting all your ducks in a row.
-You are so much more than your disorders or your struggles, and you don't have to let them define you.
Now get out there and kick some ass, bbs.

Track is Back

So, going into this season, my intention was to write a race report following every race, and I started off pretty strong.  Then I had, in my opinion, a bad race at conference and got hit with a case of the depressies over it.  Then I got wildly ill due to some fun side effects of a medication and raced terribly at regionals.  Then nationals actually went well and I was just too lazy to do a writeup.  So, here I am over a month out from my last post to fill you all in on how the season wrapped up and where we're headed going forward.
For the first time in USU history, we sent a cross country team to nationals.  Not only did we qualify our first time ever, we also qualified both the men's and the women's teams at the same time on at-large bids.  There is no group of people that I would rather have gone to cross country NCAAs with for the first time than these guys.  Last year at this time, I was extremely upset with the way my season finished and the fact that I missed qualifying for nationals after coming in with such high expectations.  Now, looking back, I'm grateful for having the struggles I did because they are what led me to this school, my amazing team, and my favorite coaches.
Not everyone had their best race at nationals and there were some unavoidable conflicts that are simply a part of racing with so many people, but our women managed to come away with a fourteenth place finish, making top fifteen in the nation at our first ever appearance at nationals, and the men with a twenty-seventh place finish.  I personally finished in twenty-fifth, which meets the qualifications for all-American.  I was certainly happy with the progress I have made since last year's cross country season, and after the hiccups leading up to nationals this season, I was glad to still finish well, though I will certainly be pursuing a much higher finish in my final cross country season.  Next year, we plan to build on the tradition we've begun by returning to nationals and aiming for a top-ten finish.
Immediately after nationals, I started scheming with my coaches about what my plan would be going forward.  I told Coach Gulden that next time I race the 10k at nationals I would like to improve on my previous finish, so over Thanksgiving break he and Coach Matt chatted about what my schedule would look like for the next three years and how I would get there.  As of right now, we are planning on having me race indoor and absolutely get after it this year.  I will be redshirting outdoor and spending that block of time training and getting ready for cross country, so we aren't concerned about me getting burned out before NCAAs in the spring, and as a result, I'll be hitting workouts hard this winter.  There are no words for how excited I am to get back on the track.  I've been separated from my one true love for far too long, and I can't wait to be reunited with the consistency and reliability of track season.